We’ve all been there. You set the alarm with grand plans for an early start, only to hit snooze repeatedly and oversleep. As a result, your entire schedule gets thrown off. If this scenario sounds familiar, it might be time to re-evaluate the strength of your motivation and the reasons behind your intentions.
The Importance of a Strong “Why”
Presumably, there was a reason you wanted to wake up early, but it wasn’t compelling enough. Otherwise, no force could keep you in bed, even if you were exhausted or were out late. Probably, you have a few experiences like this to recall.
If external circumstances, such as a late-night party, binge-watching of a series, or, whatever it might be, kept you from waking up as planned — your incentives weren’t compelling enough. Whatever was on your agenda felt less important than the desire to stay up late occupied by an alternative activity. Unless the reasons behind our intentions are solid, we fail.
Consider another scenario: you have a seemingly strong reason to achieve a goal that you believe would be beneficial. However, unless your inner drive is aligned with this intention, your unconscious desire to ensure your satisfaction in the quickest possible way will dominate. Read more here
The Cycle of Failure
When you fail to follow through on your commitments, it creates a negative feedback loop. Imagine repeating the above-described pattern again and again. Over a short time, these seemingly little yet constant failures start forming a habit of unreliability. Your body and mind begin to expect these failures, making it harder to break the cycle. Eventually, although you intellectually know there’s a reason to wake up early, you don’t feel it. And, bear in mind, in stressful moments, whatever we feel like doing overrides what we say to ourselves we should be doing.
Then you make another agreement with yourself, but the morning comes, and the cycle repeats. Your body starts getting used to your excuses and stops trusting you. Your animal instincts for comfort take over your intentions, making you unreliable. And no surprise, your body no longer takes your commitments seriously. Why would it? You’ve failed to deliver so many times.
This leads to more late mornings, more missed plans and so on. Gradually, you stop being able to wake up early altogether, slipping into a depression that keeps you in bed even longer. To cope, you tell yourself a new story: you’re not a morning person.
Failing your expectations, eventually, you start failing at the delivery of your plans. The new experience, even if it contradicts the evidence of the past, tells you that you’re a loser and it’s best to live with that. And to support that new, albeit disempowering, belief you start failing again and again. Until one day you’re convinced that you’re a one huge failure.
Consequently, you start outsourcing responsibility for outcomes to fate and external circumstances, becoming a victim of your narrative. By then, your confidence has plummeted.
Building the Success Funnel
Now, consider the hierarchy of success. It’s built on multiple steps, with each small achievement piling up to boost your confidence which leads to further achievements.
It’s a process that involves consistent actions that accumulate and lead to a compound effect over time. Each small win builds your confidence and adds to your track record of reliability. You start believing that your actions determine your life’s outcomes.
This reinforces your confidence and, as a result of that, you manifest through your action your new beliefs about yourself. With every small step, you prove to the external world, but most importantly to yourself, that your word is reliable.
Do take yourself seriously. If you give yourself a word to do something — to become a success stick to that pact. That’s where the confidence is reborn.
Little Particles of Big Achievements
Think of a LinkedIn profile. The strongest ones showcase a history of achievements, stories that prove them, and endorsements that echo the world’s appreciation. We all need that, yet the foundation of success is based upon small, consistent actions.
To act, especially when you feel unresourceful, you need fundamentally strong reasons to move towards your desired destination. There will be many temptations and tough moments, so you need a strong “why” to stick to your path. To believe you can achieve, even when the world feels like it’s falling apart, you need past evidence that boosts your confidence in your ability to deliver.
Practical Steps to Building Success:
First and foremost, before you commit to any goal, ask yourself: Why is this important to me? If your reasons aren’t strong enough, you’re likely to fail. Ensure that your intentions are backed by a solid, meaningful “why.”
- Set Clear, Achievable Goals: Start with small, manageable tasks that you can commit to. Each completed task is a step up the funnel.
- Only Attempt What’s Absolutely Necessary or Desired: Before starting any task make sure there’s a compelling reason behind it, don’t do anything for the sake of it.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate each small achievement. This builds confidence and reinforces your belief in your ability to succeed.
- Build a History of Success: Keep track of your achievements, no matter how small. This builds a portfolio of success that boosts your confidence and motivates you to keep going.
- Avoid Overcommitting: Only make promises that you’re sure you can keep. Overpromising and underdelivering erodes self-trust.
- Only Promise if You Intend to Deliver: If you promise yourself something, stick to it. And until you have a substantial reason to commit, restrain from making a promise.
Key Takeaways
Remember, success isn’t built overnight. It’s a process that takes a while and that involves small, consistent actions that accumulate over time. Yet, it takes a few split moments to ruin it when you time and time again give in to temptations sacrificing long-term gains.
But equally, like with success, life gives us a few tester sessions with failures for us to make our minds up and decide which direction we prefer: of easy failure or of success that takes effort but provides fulfilling outcomes.
Just like a strong LinkedIn profile reflects a history of achievements, your life represents a history of repeated actions and seemingly insignificant decisions that lead to a fundamental difference.
