Creating a vision for your life can seem daunting, especially when you’re unsure of what you truly desire. However, there are practical approaches to help you identify and shape your goals. You can either start with what you want or what you don’t want. Here’s how.
Two Ways to Set Goals
Setting goals can be approached from two distinct perspectives: focusing on what you want or recognising what you don’t want. This fundamental choice shapes the direction of your efforts and can manifest differently across various aspects of your life.
Direction Filters: Towards and Away From
Goals can be driven by a desire to move towards something positive or away from something negative. Similarly, motivations can come from the urge to avoid pain or the quest to gain pleasure. If you’re unsure of what you want to achieve, start by identifying what troubles you. Recognising the issues at hand can provide a clearer path forward.
Identify What Troubles You
Often, we don’t know exactly what we want, but we’re acutely aware of what’s bothering us. When asked about their goals, many people struggle to articulate a clear answer. However, if asked what’s wrong, they can readily list their grievances. This insight can be leveraged to define what you don’t want, which in turn can help clarify what you do want.
Ask yourself:
- What’s the problem I’m facing?
- How is this affecting me?
- What would my life look like if this problem were resolved?
- What would resolving this problem enable me to achieve?
Avoid Setting Goals from a Place of Deficiency
Be cautious of setting goals from a place of deficiency. Misguided objectives can lead to conditional or artificial goals that don’t serve you long-term.
Conditional Goals
Conditional goals are those set with the premise that achieving one thing is necessary to address a problem before pursuing something else. For example, “Once I earn enough money, I’ll quit my job and start my own business.” This approach often fails because it delays direct action towards your ultimate goal. Instead, start working on your business idea now, even on a small scale, alongside your current job. This proactive approach can help you gain momentum and possibly attract the resources you need.
Another example is staying in an unsatisfying relationship until you meet someone better. This often doesn’t work because the negative state of the current relationship hinders your ability to find and develop new, fulfilling relationships.
Artificial Goals
Artificial goals are those set because “it’s good to have a goal,” or they are adopted from others. These goals are unsustainable because they don’t address your needs and aren’t aligned with your unique set of values. To avoid this, focus on removing roadblocks first, leveraging your resourcefulness of the past, possibly with the help of a coach.
Vision First, Answers Later
A powerful approach is to focus on your overarching vision and values first. Imagine your ideal life without limitations:
- Envision Your Future: What does your life look like? What matters to you?
- Forget Limitations: Ignore deficiencies and conditions that seem necessary before achieving your vision.
- Vision Before Answers: Understand that a clear vision comes first; answers and practical steps follow.
Ask yourself:
- What does my ideal life look like?
- What matters most to me in this vision?
- What are my aspirations?
By focusing on your vision, you allow yourself to dream freely. This clarity can guide you towards the next steps.
Because, if you’re uncomfortable with your current situation, the logic that led you here is likely flawed for achieving higher aspirations. To arrive at better-quality answers, you need to approach the issue from a fresh perspective.
But don’t let the fear of not knowing all the answers prevent you from starting. Begin your journey, and you’ll figure things along the way.
Architect vs. Archaeologist Approach
Don’t let the lack of answers or perfect conditions stop you. Start with what you know and adjust as you go. This approach is exemplified by Ali Abdaal’s theory differentiating between the Architect, who plans everything ahead, and the Archaeologist, who discovers answers through exploration. Without all the required knowledge, the Architect’s approach can lead to procrastination. Conversely, the Archaeologist’s approach encourages starting and learning as you go.
Testing Ideas Quickly
Similarly, Daniel Priestley suggests coming up with a list of 10 ideas and testing three quickly and cheaply to find the best fit. Sometimes you won’t know what works until you try. This method can be applied to various life areas, allowing you to explore multiple aspirations before committing significant time and energy.
Overcoming Fear of Uncertainty
Starting is crucial. Even if you’re unsure of the direction, taking the first step is essential. Remaining stuck at the starting line only paralyses you with fear and uncertainty. Your brain might come up with reasons not to avoid the territory of an unknown, but don’t let this deter you.
Approach your aspirations with a mindset focused on “How to make it work” rather than “Why it won’t work.”
Life as an Experiment
Remember, the biggest failure is never trying. By starting, you unlock the potential for growth and discovery, moving closer to the life you envision.
Creating a vision when you don’t know what you want involves starting with what you don’t want, avoiding setting goals from a place of deficiency, leveraging resourcefulness, and embracing a vision-first mindset.
Overcoming fear takes starting small and adjusting as you go. Life is an adventure, and every step you take, even if some of them were seemingly taken in the wrong direction, brings you closer to clarity and fulfilment.
Sometimes, to achieve progress and enjoy the journey, all it takes is to treat life as an experiment.
